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date a girl that makes you write
you’ll find her unexpectedly, right underneath your nose the whole time. when you feel like you have the world figured out, she’ll help you redefine the boundaries of human understanding, compassion, emotion.
date a girl that makes you write simply because she gives words new meaning. let her imprint her essence onto words that one had dull meaning: beautiful, witty, intelligent, captivating, breathtaking, devotion, love. searching for the poignent, extravagant, fantastical, simply amazing words to describe how she makes you feel, yet all words melt, dissolve, evaporate when thinking of her. yet you continue to try.
date a girl that makes you write because more than anything, one needs to write, an extension of your soul onto a parchment, a website, a tear-felt letter. the human body is not meant to be a locked safe of emotions and secrets, open up and let the world , no let her hear feel and see you.
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Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
(via bluecherriesfordrea)
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As I roam back home on the Dublin-Pleasanton BART train, a lingering thought that I’ve been trying to process continues to peck at my brain, leaving it loud and restless. I’ve always been an observer of nature and people. Systemically, I find correlation and causation in the endless combination of the two, and it gives me a bit of comfort in continue to strive to understand the universe that we have come to exist in.
It seems premature to say, but in the past months I’ve grown to learn and love faster than I ever have before. There’s a single growing idea that has been planted in my mind, and it continues to grow as fast as my love.
The idea of perfection, a firmly placed concept that dictated and ran my life grows weaker each day. When we’re young, we latch onto perfect as motivation, confirmation, and we let it guide us through life. Perfect test scores, perfect job, perfect life, perfect love. Though it seems difficult to obtain, perfect is simple conceptually. Thus we’ve learned to let it run our lives, something akin to a carrot on a stick for daily existence. Yet I continue to grow weary of the idea of perfect, because more than anything, perfect is an aesthetic quality.
I continue to notice this pattern and although I not yet dare to say I fully understand it, I feel that love and compassion for things, people, relationships… perfect doesn’t complete it. As I continue to reach out and love someone, the extension of my soul fills and fits the grooves and cracks of another human being, and it is these small grooves and indentations that give a true understanding of character and identity. The idea of perfect was generated in our lives from an odd combination of self-desire and knowledge of what others view as perfect, and can never truly be complete because as bland and stereotypical as the idea is, each person gives a slightly different version of it in perception of the world, thus to be perfect in one’s eyes probably means they’re not perfect in their eyes, or anyone else’s for that matter. It’s such a tiresome and fruitless endeavor. I’m starting to see beyond the idea, and it really makes me appreciate and love all the things and people that are around me, and I can say I’m feeling much happier about life and my interaction with people than less than a year ago. I’m not sure if I’m able to articulate this idea properly, but I hope that people as they grow learn it and embrace it as well, as I’ve found a sense of peace and happiness that I’ve never had before.
That being said, EDC was amazing. The extra money spent traveling and lodging in Las Vegas was worth it, and I dare say that I’m looking forward to attending next year. When we first entered the stadium, there was a gasp and a sense of awe as we surveyed the site, 5 spacious stages and carnival attractions filled the horizon with shifting lights and soothing music. The scene somehow blends with the sinful lights of Las Vegas, but offers three nights filled with PLUR and intense happiness.
I think that this rave was the best one I’ve been to, not only because of the accommodations, but rather those in attendance. My friends and family, and my lovely girlfriend. There has been a huge paradigm shift for the rationale for me to go to raves, first it was to lose myself in pleasure, dilated pupils scanning the horizon for an endless sea of changing LED lights, the postcoital sensation of skin on skin, raw animal lust. After that grew tired, raves became somewhat of an introspective event, filled with deep inner thought as the rhythm massaged my brain, trying to come to some sort of conclusion of the past and indicate a reasonable direction for my future. Now, it has become an extension of my happiness, used as not as a catalyst, but rather to further the love and happiness I feel on a daily basis. Going with Sarah and my cousin gave me a chance to feel what connection I had with them, and live for nights going slightly beyond what I already knew. It gave me such happiness to see the people I love, the music I love become one as the DJs gave me the rhythm in which to feel and extend my sense of happiness with others. Confessions were made in the act of rolling, but no feelings were manufactured with the endless release of endorphins, but rather enhanced. Thoughts and sayings were earnest, true to the heart, and I dare say that the ‘e-crush/affection’ curse that lasts only a few days didn’t exist. All the feelings continue to run strong, and they’ll continue to run that way. Pictures and videos don’t begin to describe what transpired there, but we cling onto them to enhance our vivid memory of some of the greatest times of our lives. I feel that one day looking back onto that threeday weekend, we’ll remember not only the music or the sights, but rather the feelings that were enhanced and continue to affect our lives daily.
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a rainy night with an umbrella covering two unsheltered hearts.
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My final spring semester has come and gone, leaving only summer school and one last fall semester. I don’t know how I really feel about it all, but with all the current statuses involving graduation and graduation pics.. I feel like even though I cherish the time that I have, I want to move on. When I walk across campus and stare up at the Campanile, there’s a tinge of regret of distant memories, things I didn’t take advantage of, times I opted to go home and sleep rather than go and experience things. But in a sense, I think that the time alone was liberating, even if it was somewhat disheartening in the past. More than anything, to get undergradute off my back and move on to future plans is something I truly want to look forward to. Lots of people are happy about job x, future y, plan z, but I’ve always found those things to be superflous to true ambition. Maybe it was a lazy justification for the hole I found myself in at the end of every semester, but I truly thought that I would just figure it all out, or it would all come in due time.Growing up a day at a time, I realize that although it’s a cop out, it’s super true. How could a career define who you are for the rest of your life? As people are graduating, I find people comparing jobs, salaries, and it still feels somewhat shallow. Sometimes though, you gotta blend in and do what you need to do to survive the every day interaction with people, but I don’t ever want to forget that by the end of the day I should look past that, look at the bigger picture and what makes me truly happy in life.
What I do know is that I find happiness in people. There is just something about truly connecting with another human being, even for a split second, that rivals anything else I’ve ever experienced in my lifetime. It’s that simple beauty that I continue to strive for. I’m so fortunate that I’ve found someone in my life that I can continue to have this connection with on a daily basis, and that it’s given me insight for what I want to do after ending this chapter in my life.
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mm i wake up in the morning to a nice and warm feeling of love. despite all of the world’s little worries flying through my brain at a thousand miles a second, it all seems to slow down at the very thought of you.
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THIS STUPID BED THOUGH!!
BED, I LOVE YOU. I REALLY JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU.. ALL THE FREAKING TIME! BUT I GOT THINGS TO DO. UGH.
#SOTIRED
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old soul
I think that personally I’ve always been somewhat hesitant to fully endorse the web2.0 — the evolution of our media and the way we consume and view things. I really do think that tumblr is a successful extension of our generation; we love to consume and share things at a feverish pace and if you follow enough people, there isn’t a second where if you refreshed, you would get the exact same dashboard.
Yet I feel like there’s something missing, and looking back on my own posts, I realized that as soon as you view someone’s blog, it’s all wrong. I tried to google “how to tumblr in chronological order,” but I don’t think there’s an option for that. I think for most people, having their immediate thoughts available is ideal; we live in a world of now and that’s why things like twitter and facebook continue to flourish. But for some who really pour their hearts and souls into what they write, I feel like it’s a disservice to try to read it backwards. there isn’t anything lost when you read it from back to front, but like most literary works there is something to be gained from reading it from the beginning to the end. it’s just something that i regret when looking back and seeing a total of 15 actual posts on this thing. I think i’m going to import all the blogs i can find in my lifetime, because this blog encapsulates only one very small piece in my life. I thought that I was starting anew, but I think that more than anything I was running from the mess that my life has/had been in the past few years. I’m more ashamed that there has been hundreds of opportunities in my lifetime where I had something to reflect on, but I was too scared of myself to put it down, and chose to rather sleep and dull the thought into the back of my lost memories. If I really look and try to repost all of my blogs, I’ll realize how splotchy it all is. And that’s a damn shame. I’ll do what I can, and pledge to myself to archive it all here, so one day I can read this book to see how I got to where I am now. I’m not afraid anymore.
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tumblrbot asked: WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?
salt flats in SLC :)
