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fate and other silly things
First week of school is over. For once I managed to attend all my classes, and it felt awfully good. I think the workload this semester is perfect. Not having 4-hour labs on top of lecture and discussion really lets me get the right handle on things.
Life/fate is a quite funny and fickle mistress, and although I can find countless examples of how she seems to make my life interesting, I had to take note today. In class today, we had a long discussion about the readings that were assigned prior, and we were eventually split off into groups in order to dissect and analyze the subtext in detail. I tend to people watch both in and out of class, and one person managed to capture my attention. Of the 16-17 people that were there, she was the only one besides me that was actually looking the professor in the eye as she was discussing the material. I took notice twice, and thought to myself about how polite or impolite it is to stare at the teacher. As we counted off into four groups, somehow I found myself in the same group. It’s small little things like this that make me wonder about the chances in life, and despite how coincidental it all may seem, there are invisible strings that pull it all together. This wasn’t the first time it had happened to me since I’ve gotten into college. Sometimes I feel like there’s an aura about me, and even if I don’t initially see it, I tend to get my way, or pull things towards me.
Despite that, the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I got home to a few facebook invites after the first day, which was nice because one of my resolutions was to make new friends this semester / year. I think I feel more comfortable with opening up and talking because I actually have things to say this time around. As long as I keep up with the material, I’ll be able to really just help others, while at the same time making some friends. I like it!
As the first week ended, I reflected also on my newly-minted relationship with SARAH ANNE HSU. Haha, normally I’m pretty vague with my blogs, but honestly, I’ve never felt like the way I feel about this now. It’s actually quite frightening. I told myself that I’d never engage in a long-distance relationship again after the hellish ending of the last few a year ago, but I guess it’s true, the moment you swear something off it finds a way back into your life. I occasionally find myself afraid, or questioning the whole situation, but unlike prior relationships, it never really manifests into something subversive or poisonous. As soon as I see her, or think about it again, I find myself a bit more calm and collected.
Things have been going quite fantastic so far, and sometimes I wonder, how much better can it get? Or how much longer can this hold out? For most people, I honestly know that there is probably an expiration date, and it’s just a matter of time. If they prove me wrong, then it could be love, right? With this it’s the complete opposite. I wonder, but I believe that through it all, this is already what I want, and that the expiration date isn’t there. Life might prove me wrong, but until it happens, I’ll put all I can into this.
So what changed? I have no idea. I can’t explain it in words. Time seems so relative since I’ve truly met sashhu, slowing down when I’m far away from her and speeding up when we’re with each other. It’s this unfortunate theory of sarahrelativity that leaves me totally wanting more time with her, always. I guess it’s slightly fortunate that we’ve been dating for a week and a day, yet it feels like we’ve known each other for much longer. I think at some point time will just stop, and we won’t really measure how well we know each other, or the capacity of our relationship based on this arbitrary measurement. It might have already happened.
