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7/6/08
6:20 am. I’m actually sure that this is the best time to blog, I have two things going for you: you’re too tired to focus on anything else, and falling asleep before finishing something is damn near impossible for me.
The silence is actually quite deafening. Noone’s up, and the birds went to go do something else after chirping for an hour.
So summer? It’s been a week since the last post and I must say beyond two job applications, nothings happened. And that’s how I feel like this summer will go. Painfully slow. Everyone else is doing so much more! Class? Maybe a job? I have to be more productive or something.
I must admit that I have nothing interesting to say because I’ve been just spilling my day-to-day interesting stories to someone while they proceed to fall asleep on me. If you could visualize one of those ‘anime pull one eye down and stick tongue out’ then please do. So this is just whats left. It’s always left.
I remember watching My Sassy Girl and I think somewhere between that and the shoujo anime it defined the typical storybook romance. MSG might seem different but in reality it’s the same. People might look at the meek boy, or the crazy girl, but together there was some sense of mutual understand that is only in fairybooks. I just always thought it could work in reality. So I took that sense of purpose and attempted relationships with several people. Somehow “the road to hell was paved with good intentions” comes to mind. You might think I’m exaggerating but I think at this point in time three girls have used the words “you” “ruined” “my life/me”.
What the hell is wrong with me? I’m pretty sure I’m a good friend, I’ve maintained strong relationships with people for lots of years, but when it comes to a girlfriend I’m just dumbfounded. It’s literally at the point where I’m scared to engage in any type of typical beyondfriendship with anyone.
If there’s some type of consolation in all of this, years later people always come back to say how they “learned a lot” from it all and how “they wouldn’t have had it any other way.” I’m glad that we can look back and laugh about it but I don’t want to be in that position forever.
t’s been 3 years. Man. Have I learned anything? I’m pretty sure I have, but I always feel relatively mature and ready whenever I throw myself into a relationship.
