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speaking of dreams
I’ve decided to delete everything and start anew. Not for any particular reason, just I think that enough time has passed, and hopefully things have settled down and people have moved on for the better. I definitely hope that everyone has found some kind of meaning from the past few years of… craziness, and that they can grow out of it to be better human beings.
Either way, it’s time to dust this thing off, and write! Write, write write. This probably spawned out of my film studies class, where the option to make a video of what I would want Asian American representation in media to be definitely trumps the alternative 15 page paper. I think this would be my chance to really make something good out of this, and to really apply myself. Generally the timeline would be me thinking about how awesome I could make this, forgetting about it until a week before it’s due, then just making something mediocre and pointless. Well, hopefully it will be the opposite! This summer has me fighting to prove a lot of misconceptions about myself (to myself), so with a lot of hard work, I hope that I can.
So what will it be.. melodrama? Comedy? Something deeper? Of course I definitely have to consult the group and go from there, but haha my disposition is always the melodrama =p. Or something a bit more serious. Yet today while brainstorming I could only think of funny things. The only real idea that came up would be some kind of mockumentary of MTV / Jersey Shore. Yeah I’m aware that they actually ARE making an Asian Jersey Shore, but this would be a Berkeley production. Instead of debauchery and stupid stuff, we could promote other silly stereotyping that as students at a prestigious college run into. We could have parties… study parties in the library! We could lift… books! IDK. There’s a lot of silly small things that go into the production, like some fun nicknames, and when we introduce them, w/ GPA attached etc.
Either way, writing it down makes more sense of things (the idea kinda sounds shittier on paper).
I’ve been on an awful sleep schedule lately. I find myself sleeping for 4 hours at a time, then waking up for class, and then going back home to nap till the next class. This particular night I wanted to get some sleep early and maybe realign my schedule, but I found myself awake at 3AM and unable to get back to sleep. It might be a combination of things, such as my roommmate entering and leaving the room like 25 times to make food / do other tasks at random hours, but mainly I had to get out the fact that I had the most recently memorable dream in history. As vivid as possible, and still there in my brain.
It goes to show that despite a lot of things, a lot of changes that I’ve been making in my life, that my subconscious still has a few things left lingering that still need to be answered. When I’m conscious, things have been making sense, I’ve been on a level of stability that has been unparalleled. I feel inspired to do things for the bettering of myself and those around me. Does this dream prove to myself that I’m in fact still yearning for the opposite..? I hope not. It’s not something viable, yet for some reason it all felt so right up to when I woke up, and I basked in the afterglow of the lingering possibility that all of it had really happened.
I’m not really going to go into details, because those aren’t important, and actually probably face-palm inducing for my friends around me. I don’t think I’m ready yet to do that. All I can really throw out there is safeway, vegas, crazy insane happy ending…?
aND DEFINITELY IMPROBABLE/IMPOSSIBLE and contrasts the advice that I’ve been giving people lately.
Either way, it’s 3:37 and I’m going to re-retire in hopes that when I wake up I can be productive! ttylS!
